30 settembre 2012

Ultimo giorno di settembre.
È domenica e c’è il sole.
Le cose che amo di te:
Quando ti morsichi le labbra
Quando chiudi i finestrini della macchina
Quando canti in macchina
Quando ti aggiusti il colletto della polo
Quando ridi di gusto perché si crea una fossettina dolcissima
Quando mi stringi
Quando mi pettini
Quando mi chiami piccola
Come fai tutte queste cose e mille altre

Settembre è stato sempre il mio mese preferito, finché non mi son resa conto che agosto sta quasi per finire..

A Letter // La Dispute

Everybody wants a reason for everything.
It’s so much easier with someone or something to blame.

I’ve always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?

I’ve never spent a lot on finding a remedy.
I guess I figured that it hurt for a reason.
I guess that’s why I’ve always turned to writing it down.
Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And I guess that’s why it haunts the pages of everything-
to self-examine.

I think the thing is that I shut off from everything.
From friends and family and my own ambitions.
From having fun.
I just shut off from everything.

Self-defeating? Yeah, probably.
But I don’t know that I had total control over it.
And I’m not sure it even matters why.

Sometimes things happen and you can’t do anything.
Plus, I’m the only one who deals with it anyway.
So if everyone could do me a favor and
just put their fingers down
I’d-and keep your mouths-

Sorry. I know I seem angry.
I’m not, I…I promise. I just know I did this to me.
And I will deal with it accordingly.

And I don’t need opinions from those never a part of it.
Don’t need them pointing out my problems, they’re mine.
Don’t need reminders, I know better than anyone.

And yeah, I know, I should be finding another way.
I know that I should be out seeking a substitute.
But just forgetting never really made sense to me.

So I haven’t been.

Do I feel embarrassed about it?
I think you know the answer to that.
I think you’d probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me,
wouldn’t you?

I know I should’ve moved on ages ago, been happy already,
but it’s never been that easy for me.
Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.

I know I’ve only ever tried a handful of times
to sever this thing torturing me.
It never got me anywhere, with anyone.
No friendship or hobby, no lover’s bed worked.

But looking back I maybe never tried hard enough,
and it is my fault.

Maybe I never tried at all

Judge, Jury And Executioner // Atoms For Peace

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